I felt warn down by the grueling 5 day a week schedule of March. I felt as if I have pushed through enough 5 day weeks that I could do it forever, and disappointed that I have don't get this time to teach my students. I feel like I had a stoic resolve that isn't all together healthy. The kind where I have given up on hopelessness and complaining, and just get the work done, and then sit/sleep/bike in a vegetative state. All of my energy was reserved for school work and teaching. It was a simple, it was barren, but it would get me through indefinitely.
Friday night I was tired, and grumpy, but felt like I could easily turn around and teach again on monday. I don't see this time as a vacation, but rather a break from teaching. I have a very long to-do list, and many hours of planning, grading, and school work to do. I don't feel relaxed like I did before winter break, I feel run down, I hope this break is rejuvenating enough that it is worth the break in concentration that will cost me when I get back.
I am slowly regaining my humanness, contacting friends, doing things I enjoy, interacting with others, laughing. Spring break, as feared, has shaken me loose of the simple industrious life style. I hope I can get back there when I get back from break. It means I would put my life on hold again, but I AM a first year teacher, thats what everyone said I was going to have to do.
The only fear is that come June some aspects of my life will be unsalvageable from the wreckage and I can't rebuild them during the summer to maintain a more balanced life next year.
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